Free Topic

Well, seeing as this week is a free topic, and I will be graduating on the 20th of December in about a week, I figure that is probably about as solid a topic as any for my final free topic blog post.

Graduation, all semester, has loomed as that ever elusive goal that I somehow managed to miss. Being 16 hours short of graduation last semester really gave me a batch of mixed emotions, as well as an accompanying extra semester here at clemson. With a good portion of my friends graduating on time, including one of my roommates, the fact that I was still going to be here another semester made me feel almost left behind. Logically, not graduating in four years on a curriculum of 141 hours with a semester in charleston that, other than my studio and CSM class, was composed of all elective courses made perfect sense to me. This, though, still didn't ease the idea that I had somehow failed at college; that, once this semester started, I no longer belonged here because I should have graduated already.

On the other hand, it was a nice feeling knowing that I'd get to spend another semester as a student, a regular student with no architecture studio taking most of my time, with only 12 hours of classes after I took two over the summer. This combined with the fact that I did still have a few friends here, including my brother who came in this year as a freshman, helped me feel at home, as well as give me some sense of purpose by allowing me to help my brother settle in and pass on to him whatever advice I could to make things easier.

With these two ideas bouncing around my head like a pinball all semester, it has made things interesting in unexpected ways. Now, though, the semester is over, and I will in fact be graduating soon. Now, a new battle of feelings has sprung up. I will no longer be able to identify myself as a student of Clemson University. I'm now a real adult who has to get a job and make my way in the real world; a monumental revelation to say the least. This combined with how much I will miss the place that has not only been my home for four and a half years, but has also, as I stated before, been a major part of how I defined myself for this time period has brought upon me, a new internal conflict. I look forward to my upcoming years as a member of the "real world," but I still can't shake a feeling of nostalgia, a reminiscent loss of part of myself. I have no doubt that, in time, this will fade, and I will settle into a new life that I plan on making as fulfilling as possible. Until then, I will enjoy the memories marking an era in my life that has now all but culminated. Unfortunately I guess, all good things must come to an end.